Marriage – A Necessity or a Privilege?

“Are you going to pick up Rahul from school, today? I have a webinar at 5 pm and I don’t think I can pick him up,” mumbled Reema, busily cleaning chores in the kitchen.

“Oh, not again, this is the third time I am going to have to pick him up within the past two weeks. Can’t you adjust your schedule so it could work out for both of us, my boss is already yelling at me for doing this!” Raj was having his breakfast while packing Rahul’s lunch. Later, he emailed his manager stating that he was working from home for the day.

Raj and Reema have been married for 8 years; two competent software engineers fell in love and married with their parents’ consent. There haven’t been differences between the couple since marriage. There was understanding, care, love, and responsibility in the relationship, notwithstanding the fact that there were little compromises and sacrifices life brought in at some point in time. Reema recently moved to another firm and on to a new arena in her profession.

Though the duo were excited about the change in position which hoisted their financial status, they were also aware of the fact that there has to be a more empathetic and considerate conciliation, after Reema took on the new role. Things changed as they were working in different shifts recently. There was an apprehension that grew overtime and Rahul felt left out, as his mom was busy in her professional and household activities, while Raj was trying to fill out the void.

Past three weeks have been a roller coaster ride. After a week of induction, Reema started with the new team she was assigned to. New role often comes with greater expectations and multiple responsibilities. It required for her to fulfill each with eager and passion. “Am I really happy for this change?” Reema questioned herself. She wasn’t. She was worried that she ain’t spending enough time with Rahul and Raj.

Many of us have different perceptions on preferences such as life, work, marriage, kids, family, etc. In the growing economic times, where upbringing of a child has been so expensive, one can argue that it is merely impossible to fulfill the requirements a family has, especially when it’s dependent on solitary income. Whilst, quite a few argue that a wife has to sacrifice her career or needs to break for at least a couple of years, for “good upbringing” of their children.

The question here is, “Is it really a necessity for a husband or a wife to forgo their career for good parenting of their children?” The answer should obviously be a “no.” There shouldn’t be a guilt in either of their conscience, as to whether they are giving 100% to their child. Parents are obviously striving hard for the kid’s better future! While this isn’t an issue in joint families where grandparents can take care of the kids, it’s a major issue in nuclear families, which is quite dominant these days.

Is moving back to joint families a better choice to avoid such situations? Maybe, maybe not. Yes, it works for some, but doesn’t for many, be it regional, preferential, professional, or personal issues. There are day cares, playschools, preschools, childcare centers, etc. which kind of serve as alternatives, though one can’t guarantee utmost care of the kids with these options. Raj and Reema are cognizant of these circumstances and are endeavoring towards a solution amidst the dots, to create a happy and peaceful family whilst their growing professional responsibilities.

A successful marriage isn’t something ready-made, it has to be built, nurtured by those two individuals bonding together in this relationship. Raj and Reema built this beautiful world called “home”, understanding and compromising with each other, yet sacrificing at times to “mutually” adjust, as that was the only relation in their lives which gave them immense satisfaction.

Marriage isn’t just a necessity driven by the society, but a privilege, a virtue to all who possess the qualities and who perceive the joy in togetherness. A truthful relationship, by all means, has longevity.